I crawl my way to the surface, only to feel myself sliding back– I dig my claws in just so I can hang where I am.
I recently sent this to someone in an email about how I was feeling one day. I am passionate about a new therapy I am learning and I was getting frustrated because I knew I wasn’t devoting the time I wanted to it. I was feeling overwhelmed, and while I reminded myself to take baby steps, I find it interesting how I piecemeal my life together. I’m trying to fit in everything, instead of just making space for what I know I am passionate about, settling into it, and giving myself space to breath. Sometimes the outdated programming indoctrinated into us still wants to run, but awareness helps you to hit the pause button. I learned a lot about space this month, what it means to create it, focus on it, how we are made up mostly of it, and how to hold it for others as well as yourself.
The therapy I am learning is called Block Therapy and it is a self-care therapy that works with your fascia system, otherwise known as your connective tissue. You learn how to melt through scar tissue and frozen fascia to recreate the space in your body that has been lost over time. It is like pulling time out of your body that we have lost due to the spiraling collapse that we perceive as the aging process. Deanna Hansen, the creator of Isometrics and Block Therapy, has one lay on a wooden block to create the space, breathe into the space, reinflate it, and then own it, easing our bodies back into alignment. Dr. Joe Dispenza D.C., a teacher on the neuroscience of change and epigenetics, explains the atom as 99.999% empty space, it’s information, energy, and frequency and .000001% particle, or matter which only exists as a momentary phenomenon. Dr. Joe has people focus their awareness on the space around and in their body and its chakra/energy centers, where you begin to move your mind into a different brainwave. When the atoms link up they share the information in that space. You get to choose what information you put in it via what you’re feeling, whether it’s love and compassion or shame and judgment. Changing the automated program we run on is healing; this healing gives us a better understanding of the saying that “we are nothing and something all at the same time”. This space is our unseen world, the 90% of us that most people do not tap into.
Ironically enough after I had sent this email this quote showed up in my facebook feed. The universe has a way of confirming you, doesn’t it?
As for holding space for others, it’s about being in the space, being fully present in the moment of an experience, just like what Block Therapy and meditation do for us. Giving another person the opportunity to express themselves fully, without judgment, giving them room to breathe and open up completely creates their space. You need not provide them with anything other than pure love, compassion, and your full attention. I am grateful for those grounded souls that can do this for me now, but there was a long period of time where I had no one rooted around me who could provide such a space–through mindfulness, I had to do it for myself. I learned how to tap into my inner-self with self-kindness, compassion, clarity, and non-judgment to help pull myself out of a negative vibrational place. I remember thinking to myself: no one is coming to save you, Joanie! Get moving!
Ultimately, space, whether it be for your body, mind, spirit or another, is where unconditional love and creativity exists. It’s us as a human race moving into a whole new reality.
I woke up one morning around 4:00 AM (this happens once in a while, but I’m confident that I’m in good company!) and found myself caught up in the usual pre-conditioned thinking. I recalled something that I had learned through my Naam yoga training: the hours between 4:00 and 7:00 AM and PM are powerful times for enhancing prayer and meditation. This recollection jolted me into action. Oh hell no! The thoughts that were running through my head were NOT the prayers or the intentions that I wanted to put out, so I said, out loud, “retract those thoughts!”. Dr. Joe suggests to use the word “change”, so I began to breathe deeply, focusing on changing my inner-monologue into thought patterns and feelings that I did want to bring into my life instead. I read once that if you wake up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning, thinking and worrying about everything, you’ve turned your place of rest into a place of worry. I will usually put on a guided meditation that I can focus on, or if all else fails, I’ll get up and find something else to put my attention on. It’s sad that the place where we lay our bodies to rest can be robbed of its tranquility due to our wicked, inner thought patterns. Be diligent my warriors; keep shifting and loving yourselves.
I heard the phrase “we teach best what we most need to learn” by Richard Bach a few times this month. It stuck with me and I finally decided to give it a little more thought. The first thing that came to mind was when I read what I have written here in my own blog I am reminded of how much more I still need to learn. Sometimes as I am writing I hear the message coming through. There are always those doubts and fears, but the desire to express myself and be real overrides them all. I am occasionally in awe of myself when I read back what I have written. I rise to the love in my own heart. I’m grateful to have an outlet for this aspect of me that has been tucked away for so long.
I work in a school, so I am surrounded by teachers and students every day. I have always thought that there was no coincidence to that. We are all students and teachers in this life. I would walk the halls and ask myself, “what is it that I am supposed to be teaching?” I kept searching for the one thing that I was supposed to be good at instead of trusting in who I am. It was a frustrating inner struggle, mostly because I knew that I came here with everything I needed to succeed, yet my insecure thoughts about not being smart enough, experienced enough ,or good enough, had a choke hold on me. It felt as if I was incomplete, but I know now that is never the case.
If anything this statement is pure freedom! It gives us permission to show up just the way we are and express ourselves when we feel the need. If you have been putting off something that you have been wanting to do or say, just do it and say it. I remember thinking to myself that I must be experiencing this call and urge to express myself because maybe someone needs to hear what I have to say and I didn’t want to let them down. Ironically, one of those someones was me. You are the best person to teach via your unique perspective and experiences in life. Perfection is not a destination. Dive into the mess my warriors of love, be on the front lines forging forward through whatever it is you fear. We need you. Sending love and gratitude to you always.